Helping Kids With School Anxiety
School Anxiety: What Ontario Parents Need to Do
Seeing your child worry about school breaks your heart, but you're not powerless here. School anxiety is incredibly common, and there are real ways to help your child feel safer and more confident. Most kids can learn to manage these big feelings with the right support.
What's going on?
School anxiety shows up when your child's worry system gets activated by anything school related. Maybe it's social situations, academic pressure, separation from you, or just the unpredictability of the school day. Their brain is trying to protect them from what feels like danger, even when school is actually safe.
This happens to lots of kids, especially during transitions like starting a new school, moving to a new grade, or after breaks. Some children are naturally more sensitive to change and uncertainty. Others might have had a tough experience that makes school feel scary now.
What you might notice
- Complaints of stomachaches or headaches before school
- Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
- Crying, tantrums, or refusing to get ready
- Clinging to you at drop off time
- Coming home exhausted or emotional
- Asking lots of "what if" questions about school
What helps at home
Start by validating their feelings. "School feels really scary right now" works better than "There's nothing to worry about." Their fear is real, even if the danger isn't.
Create predictable routines around school time. Pack backpacks the night before, have the same breakfast, play the same song in the car. Routine feels safe to anxious brains.
Practice school situations at home through play. Use dolls or stuffies to act out drop off, recess, or asking the teacher for help. This lets them work through scenarios when they're calm.
Connect with their teacher early. Most teachers want to help and can offer simple accommodations like a special job to focus on or a quiet spot to regroup.
Try relaxation techniques together. Deep breathing, counting backwards, or naming five things they can see can interrupt the worry spiral. Practice these when they're calm so they're ready when anxiety hits.
When to worry
Head to the emergency room if your child talks about hurting themselves or seems completely unable to function because of their anxiety.
Text Arlo or call your family doctor if the anxiety isn't improving after a few weeks of support, if it's affecting their sleep or appetite significantly, or if you're feeling overwhelmed and need professional guidance.
The takeaway
School anxiety feels huge, but it's also very treatable. You're already helping by taking this seriously and looking for solutions.
You can always text Arlo and talk to a provider in 5 minutes!
References - [Anxiety in children and teens](https://caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/behavior-and-development/anxietyinchildrenandteens)
- [School anxiety](https://aboutkidshealth.ca/article?contentid=270&language=english)
- [Helping your child with anxiety](https://www.ontario.ca/page/helping-your-child-anxiety)